Obama at the Bat

Burning Man - Getting Freaky in the Desert

We at the RattPo believe in the old adage, “know thy enemy,” so we’ve broken open the piggy bank and purchased a ticket for our brave correspondent, Richard Waxer, to attend this years Burning Man event Aug 30-Sept 6, 2010.

For those of our readers who have no clue what this Burning Man is, we Salute You!

Click for larger image

What is Burning Man? It’s so far out there that we’ll use their own words to describe the event.


“Once a year, tens of thousands of people gather in Nevada's Black Rock Desert (also known as "the playa") to create Black Rock City, a temporary metropolis dedicated to community, art, self-expression* (*We can't help but to think back to Onan for that last one), and self-reliance. They depart one week later, having left no trace whatsoever.”

And from their history page...

“There is, of course, the founding myth: the story of how Larry Harvey and his friend Jerry James burned a wooden man upon the beach in San Francisco on June 21, 1986. Many stories now embroider this initial act: accounts of Larry's broken heart, his vanished love affair, his allegiance to his father—a self-made man, a carpenter, and the original bearer of the famous hat he now wears. Myths, however, are important because they represent the first and founding form of things. They are the seeds out of which things grow.”

Still want more? The Burning Man website has more information for your perusal.


The official Burning Man website lists a 'Survival Guide', so we thought it only appropriate that we supply our humble correspondent with his own “Survival Kit.”

Dick’s survival kit will include the following items:

• (1) full body condom
• (1) snake bite kit
• (1) case 'Pit Putty 100% Organic Deodorant
• (3) cans EchoSmart Organic Insect Repellent
• (1) can Bactine First Aid Antiseptic/Pain Reliever.
• (1) bottle of Amoxicillin, a broad spectrum antibiotic
• (1) bottle VALTREX caplets for the treatment of Herpes
• (1) Divine Derriere Personal Anal Bleaching Kit
• (1) Lithium I.V. Drip Kit
• (4) Dental Dams
• (1) HazMat suit w/rebreather
• (1) can RID Step-3 Lice Control Spray
• (1) Geiger Counter w/spare batteries
• (1) Emergency use Fleet Enema Kit for impacted colon
• iPhone with $500 for apps and of course a RattPo app
• (1) Fifth of scotch (to help Dick cope through the first day)
• (1) set weave-in faux dreadlocks to enable Dick to better blend in with the 'unwashed' masses.
• (1) bottle Prozac
• (1) economy-size bottle Cherry Flavored© Pepto-Bismol

To better fit in at Burning Man, Dick is currently reading and studying the following:

Saul Alinsky's Rules for Radicals
Dreams from My Father : A Story of Race and Inheritance
The Audacity of Hope : Thoughts on Reclaiming the American Dream
Change We Can Believe in : Barack Obama's Plan to Renew America's Promise
Atlas Slouched - Al Franken
Know Your Power: A Message to America's Daughters - Nancy Pelosi

Dick has been watching the following moves on a loop:

Debbie Does Dishes
Sicko (Signed Copy)
An Inconvenient Truth (Signed Copy)
Ben Hur
Everything You Always Wanted To Know About Sex *But Were Afraid To Ask

Grizzly Man - The Timothy Treadwell Story

We’re looking forward to Dick’s first report. Stay tuned.





NOTE: This is parody, you idiot. Don't believe everything you read on the interweb.

We at the RattPo believe in the old adage, “know thy enemy,” so we’ve broken open the piggy bank and purchased a ticket for our brave correspondent, Richard Waxer, to attend this years Burning Man event Aug 30-Sept 6, 2010.

For those of our readers who have no clue what this Burning Man is, we Salute You!

Click for larger image

What is Burning Man? It’s so far out there that we’ll use their own words to describe the event.


“Once a year, tens of thousands of people gather in Nevada's Black Rock Desert (also known as "the playa") to create Black Rock City, a temporary metropolis dedicated to community, art, self-expression* (*We can't help but to think back to Onan for that last one), and self-reliance. They depart one week later, having left no trace whatsoever.”

And from their history page...

“There is, of course, the founding myth: the story of how Larry Harvey and his friend Jerry James burned a wooden man upon the beach in San Francisco on June 21, 1986. Many stories now embroider this initial act: accounts of Larry's broken heart, his vanished love affair, his allegiance to his father—a self-made man, a carpenter, and the original bearer of the famous hat he now wears. Myths, however, are important because they represent the first and founding form of things. They are the seeds out of which things grow.”

Still want more? The Burning Man website has more information for your perusal.


The official Burning Man website lists a 'Survival Guide', so we thought it only appropriate that we supply our humble correspondent with his own “Survival Kit.”

Dick’s survival kit will include the following items:

• (1) full body condom
• (1) snake bite kit
• (1) case 'Pit Putty 100% Organic Deodorant
• (3) cans EchoSmart Organic Insect Repellent
• (1) can Bactine First Aid Antiseptic/Pain Reliever.
• (1) bottle of Amoxicillin, a broad spectrum antibiotic
• (1) bottle VALTREX caplets for the treatment of Herpes
• (1) Divine Derriere Personal Anal Bleaching Kit
• (1) Lithium I.V. Drip Kit
• (4) Dental Dams
• (1) HazMat suit w/rebreather
• (1) can RID Step-3 Lice Control Spray
• (1) Geiger Counter w/spare batteries
• (1) Emergency use Fleet Enema Kit for impacted colon
• iPhone with $500 for apps and of course a RattPo app
• (1) Fifth of scotch (to help Dick cope through the first day)
• (1) set weave-in faux dreadlocks to enable Dick to better blend in with the 'unwashed' masses.
• (1) bottle Prozac
• (1) economy-size bottle Cherry Flavored© Pepto-Bismol

To better fit in at Burning Man, Dick is currently reading and studying the following:

Saul Alinsky's Rules for Radicals
Dreams from My Father : A Story of Race and Inheritance
The Audacity of Hope : Thoughts on Reclaiming the American Dream
Change We Can Believe in : Barack Obama's Plan to Renew America's Promise
Atlas Slouched - Al Franken
Know Your Power: A Message to America's Daughters - Nancy Pelosi

Dick has been watching the following moves on a loop:

Debbie Does Dishes
Sicko (Signed Copy)
An Inconvenient Truth (Signed Copy)
Ben Hur
Everything You Always Wanted To Know About Sex *But Were Afraid To Ask

Grizzly Man - The Timothy Treadwell Story

We’re looking forward to Dick’s first report. Stay tuned.





NOTE: This is parody, you idiot. Don't believe everything you read on the interweb.