Nobel Laureate Al Gore Loses Mind During Public Address

(RattPo) New York 07-31-2010


Today, Nobel Laureate, Al Gore was delivering an address to a crowd in New York, when a gust of wind blew the text of his address from his podium.

Witnesses say, that for a brief moment, Mr. Gore appeared to have a glazed look in his eyes, which was described by several onlookers, as that of a deer 'caught in the headlights of an oncoming car'.

Mr. Gore recovered from the loss of his notes moments later by drawing on his own unprepared thoughts to finish his address. Departing from his original address, due to the loss of his notes, Mr. Gore began stammering and stuttering words and phrases such as, “Th-th-the people were d-d-disenfranchised in 2000”, “dimpled ch-ch-ch-chads”, “I should have been p-president”, “Don't bogart that j-joint”, and “Tipper, come home, and l-l-loan me a few anti-depressants." and " She started it, that m-m-m-m-masseuse touched my junk first."

As photographers busily clicked away with their cameras to capture the moment, a dramatic photo was taken, capturing the last remaining circuit in Al Gore's overtaxed brain exploding into an aneurysm.


The Moment Al Gore's cranial contents entered the atmosphere

Witnesses say that a small mushroom cloud erupted from the top of Al Gore's head. Scientists say that enough fluff and inert matter from inside Al Gore's cranium was thrown up into the atmosphere to block out the sun, which could result in a nuclear winter, and global cooling.


Mr. Gore was rushed to a local hospital where his is recuperating and is described as being in excellent condition.

Doctors performed emergency surgery, and painstakingly re-stuffed Al Gore's deflated cranium with the contents of two ashtrays, a decorative pillow taken from an easy chair in the doctor's lounge, and the contents of three soiled pampers taken from the newborn nursery.

When asked about Mr. Gore's prospects of a recovery, Dr. Rattingpoe stated, “Mr. Gore should be up and around in several hours spreading half-truths, junk science, and his normal banal rhetoric, just as he has always done.”

The estranged Mrs. Gore could not be reached for comment due to her being bombed out of her skull on marijuana, anti-depressants and the now banned nutritional supplement, Ephedra.

It will be quite apparent to right thinking conservative, that this is a parody news report. Meanwhile, the usual cadre of leftists, progressives, and global warming/climate change proponents, will buy this parody 'hook, line and sinker', which will give them an excuse to toke up, and to consume vast quantities of  the hallucinogenic, absinthe.

(RattPo) New York 07-31-2010


Today, Nobel Laureate, Al Gore was delivering an address to a crowd in New York, when a gust of wind blew the text of his address from his podium.

Witnesses say, that for a brief moment, Mr. Gore appeared to have a glazed look in his eyes, which was described by several onlookers, as that of a deer 'caught in the headlights of an oncoming car'.

Mr. Gore recovered from the loss of his notes moments later by drawing on his own unprepared thoughts to finish his address. Departing from his original address, due to the loss of his notes, Mr. Gore began stammering and stuttering words and phrases such as, “Th-th-the people were d-d-disenfranchised in 2000”, “dimpled ch-ch-ch-chads”, “I should have been p-president”, “Don't bogart that j-joint”, and “Tipper, come home, and l-l-loan me a few anti-depressants." and " She started it, that m-m-m-m-masseuse touched my junk first."

As photographers busily clicked away with their cameras to capture the moment, a dramatic photo was taken, capturing the last remaining circuit in Al Gore's overtaxed brain exploding into an aneurysm.


The Moment Al Gore's cranial contents entered the atmosphere

Witnesses say that a small mushroom cloud erupted from the top of Al Gore's head. Scientists say that enough fluff and inert matter from inside Al Gore's cranium was thrown up into the atmosphere to block out the sun, which could result in a nuclear winter, and global cooling.


Mr. Gore was rushed to a local hospital where his is recuperating and is described as being in excellent condition.

Doctors performed emergency surgery, and painstakingly re-stuffed Al Gore's deflated cranium with the contents of two ashtrays, a decorative pillow taken from an easy chair in the doctor's lounge, and the contents of three soiled pampers taken from the newborn nursery.

When asked about Mr. Gore's prospects of a recovery, Dr. Rattingpoe stated, “Mr. Gore should be up and around in several hours spreading half-truths, junk science, and his normal banal rhetoric, just as he has always done.”

The estranged Mrs. Gore could not be reached for comment due to her being bombed out of her skull on marijuana, anti-depressants and the now banned nutritional supplement, Ephedra.

It will be quite apparent to right thinking conservative, that this is a parody news report. Meanwhile, the usual cadre of leftists, progressives, and global warming/climate change proponents, will buy this parody 'hook, line and sinker', which will give them an excuse to toke up, and to consume vast quantities of  the hallucinogenic, absinthe.