Rebranding the Lie

There's something new in the political air these days. You may have heard about it -- from behind gleaming teeth and twinkling eyes, the talking heads offering up a new brand of politics that promises a new Utopia... if only we'll support the idea and follow the path.



It goes under the brand name Progressivism. Doesn't that sound nice? Doesn't that sound optimistic? Doesn't that sound like something you want to be a part of, something you want for the whole country?



That's because, inherent in the term progressive is the idea that there is not just a forward movement, but that the movement is toward something better.It's up to the person deciphering the term to fill in the blank, and neurolinguistic programming fills that void with an amorphous, utopian ideal -- or, in laymen's terms, a "warm and fuzzy." In that sense, we can say that lemmings are also progressive. Cows going up the ramp the slaughterhouse are still making a forward progress. But then, it's the journey, not the destination, right?



The box may look different, but the contents haven't been altered. It's liberalism, and it's not even new and improved (although you might get a bonus 10% more than before and a bolder taste). The old brand had so oversaturated the public that it was no longer marketable. It's expired. Which is why you don't hear about it much any more. Who want's liberalism, and all the baggage that comes along with it? You can't give the stuff away.



But progressivism? Ah, that's something new! Something marketable! Something the press can promote, something politicians can sell. Don't like where things are? Let's progress! Yes, the tactics seems drastic, but we're progressing. It may appear as though we're taking a lot of your money, but that's what it takes if we're going to be progressive. And you don't want to be non-progressive, do you? Why, that would make you regressive. Backward. Probably someone who goes to those silly tea parties. No doubt you'd be a racist. Now don't you feel ashamed of yourself? Self conscious? Don't you know all the progressives are making fun of you? You want to be one of the cool kids, don't you?



Me, I've already tried it, back when it was being pitched under the old label. I found that it cost way too much, in both money and ethics. I've since... dare I say it... progressed to something that improved my education, elevated my career, made it possible to raise a family in a nice house, and cleared my conscience. I did it by switching to the old established brand -- the time-honored label. I switched to conservativism -- still operating today after all these years under the original name and the same proven principles. Now I don't have to whimper about my station in life. I no longer wallow in envy of those who had accomplished (unfairly, surely) more than I had, earned more than I did, and enjoyed a better standard of living than I did. I no longer planned my weekends making protest signs or planning who was going to volunteer to be arrested for chaining themselves to trees just to stop loggers from making a living. It requires you put a bit of yourself into it. It's not a pre-packaged panacea -- but then, it doesn't claim to be, like it's newly packaged competitor.



Conservatism. When it's allowed to work, so are you.

There's something new in the political air these days. You may have heard about it -- from behind gleaming teeth and twinkling eyes, the talking heads offering up a new brand of politics that promises a new Utopia... if only we'll support the idea and follow the path.



It goes under the brand name Progressivism. Doesn't that sound nice? Doesn't that sound optimistic? Doesn't that sound like something you want to be a part of, something you want for the whole country?



That's because, inherent in the term progressive is the idea that there is not just a forward movement, but that the movement is toward something better.It's up to the person deciphering the term to fill in the blank, and neurolinguistic programming fills that void with an amorphous, utopian ideal -- or, in laymen's terms, a "warm and fuzzy." In that sense, we can say that lemmings are also progressive. Cows going up the ramp the slaughterhouse are still making a forward progress. But then, it's the journey, not the destination, right?



The box may look different, but the contents haven't been altered. It's liberalism, and it's not even new and improved (although you might get a bonus 10% more than before and a bolder taste). The old brand had so oversaturated the public that it was no longer marketable. It's expired. Which is why you don't hear about it much any more. Who want's liberalism, and all the baggage that comes along with it? You can't give the stuff away.



But progressivism? Ah, that's something new! Something marketable! Something the press can promote, something politicians can sell. Don't like where things are? Let's progress! Yes, the tactics seems drastic, but we're progressing. It may appear as though we're taking a lot of your money, but that's what it takes if we're going to be progressive. And you don't want to be non-progressive, do you? Why, that would make you regressive. Backward. Probably someone who goes to those silly tea parties. No doubt you'd be a racist. Now don't you feel ashamed of yourself? Self conscious? Don't you know all the progressives are making fun of you? You want to be one of the cool kids, don't you?



Me, I've already tried it, back when it was being pitched under the old label. I found that it cost way too much, in both money and ethics. I've since... dare I say it... progressed to something that improved my education, elevated my career, made it possible to raise a family in a nice house, and cleared my conscience. I did it by switching to the old established brand -- the time-honored label. I switched to conservativism -- still operating today after all these years under the original name and the same proven principles. Now I don't have to whimper about my station in life. I no longer wallow in envy of those who had accomplished (unfairly, surely) more than I had, earned more than I did, and enjoyed a better standard of living than I did. I no longer planned my weekends making protest signs or planning who was going to volunteer to be arrested for chaining themselves to trees just to stop loggers from making a living. It requires you put a bit of yourself into it. It's not a pre-packaged panacea -- but then, it doesn't claim to be, like it's newly packaged competitor.



Conservatism. When it's allowed to work, so are you.