USS Obama Departs For Japan With Humanitarian Aid

The USS Obama departed from the Port of Mombasa, in Barack Obama's home country of Kenya.,  fully laden with ten cases of Newport cigarettes, 11 basketballs, fourteen golf fairway woods, and seven refurbished iPods filled with Obama speeches.

Eyewitness T.J. reports; "The USS Obama attempted to leave 5 times, but due to the tidal surge they keep coming back to port. The cigarettes are nearly gone."

After four days, and finally out to sea, the mighty dugout was last seen seven miles off the coast of Kenya. The USS Obama is expected to arrive in Japan in about four months. 

Upon its arrival to the stricken Japanese homeland, its cargo of humanitarian aid will be distributed to the Japanese people.

The USS Obama departed from the Port of Mombasa, in Barack Obama's home country of Kenya.,  fully laden with ten cases of Newport cigarettes, 11 basketballs, fourteen golf fairway woods, and seven refurbished iPods filled with Obama speeches.

Eyewitness T.J. reports; "The USS Obama attempted to leave 5 times, but due to the tidal surge they keep coming back to port. The cigarettes are nearly gone."

After four days, and finally out to sea, the mighty dugout was last seen seven miles off the coast of Kenya. The USS Obama is expected to arrive in Japan in about four months. 

Upon its arrival to the stricken Japanese homeland, its cargo of humanitarian aid will be distributed to the Japanese people.